Felt trapped. Enclosed in another world. This isn't me, really...
He checked in. I waited out of the queue, along with the others. Stood a little apart from them. Awkward. They talked. Silence was my talk. Stiff neck. Proud eyes distant. Motionless. He came and they moved away. I trailed after. It wasn't time yet. He sent his girl off. Then, we loitered around. This was my chance. To say all that I wanted to say. But no. My throat wouldn't let me. My jaw wouldn't let me. Beyond my control. Restricted. Bound in imaginary chains. There was no logic. I can't. And I won't. Explain.
Our eyes never met. But I made sure they didn't. Never showed a sign of weakness. No. Not in my whole life have I made this mistake. And certainly not now. Never.
Mother announced 6.30pm. They moved towards the entrance. I followed. They started saying their rounds of goodbyes. My last chance... Can I grab it?
"Goodbye!" burst out. A little too loud. Perhaps. But a little too late? No. He looked at me. But I was looking away. Deliberately.
I tried. To relax my face. Oh how I struggled! But nay. In my long sixteen years, I have trained it to be a mask without emotion. Why should it bow down to my weakness now?
He passed through the barriers. Looked back one last time. I couldn't bring myself to wave. Pride was in the way. Stood watching until he passed beyond sight. And then stood some more. Mother motioned for us to go.
I walked away. Face. A solid mask. Without emotion. Unseen rivers of tears crashing down. In my heart stretched butter-thin on toast. Inside. Behind permanent prison bars. That I built myself.